The other day I realised it is so easy as a blogger to just be hater, always seeing the negative in everything around me and using my blog as an opportunity to vent. This is not always a bad thing but if you end up doing this all the time, it begins to get into your head. Thinking you are the only intelligent being in your area and before you know it, you qualify as a blog topic yourself!
I once watched a K24Tv interview in which Jeff Koinange was talking to Maina Kageni. I think Jeff asked him a question about his controversial discussions the rumours that fly around about him. Maina said that his boss once told him “Maina, the day they stop talking about you, that is the beginning of your end…” or something like that. I suppose for his industry that works for him, but it may not necessarily be true for all of us. As I grow older I realise that I am more tolerant of different views but I am also holding on to some of mine a bit more tightly as well.
There are people that I like to hang around and most of them broadly fall into the following five categories. The first one however is in a class of her own.
1. My wife
Of course with this I risk being accused of campaigning for bonga points but hey, it is worth the risk. Of course the fact that she is a woman gets in the way (there go my points!) but I love hanging out with her. She will probably comment below and add a few points of her own some of which may even be objections but still… Anyway I like hanging out with her because she is my mirror. She knows me in a way nobody else does. Many people think they know me but they really don’t. Sometimes it is even irritating spending time with people who think they know me. My wife knows me. We fight about that too. I resist that someone can know me so well. She can sense things about even a text message I send her that others would not even notice. If after such a comment you think that we are in this lovey dovey mood all the time, never arguing about anything other than which of us loves the other more, you’re right… noooot! We have our fair share of fights about various things ranging from the life-changingly crucial to the amazingly inconsequential. In fact come to think of it, we even argue about where some things lie on this crucial to inconsequential continuum.
Why do I like to hang around her? The Bible says I must! but seriously, I hate it when it happens but she is usually right when she says things that are just from instinct. It is interesting to hear her start sentences like this, “I don’t know why I feel this way but…” or “I can’t quite put a finger on the reason but …” It is almost like a super-power. She can question my motives when I want to do something and it is only my pride that denies me her wisdom many times. Some days are better than others though. I used to think that she doesn’t have a sense of humour, but I am realising that hers is of another very deep variety. We may not always agree on the reasons why we got married but everyday I am more and more convinced that God had me in mind when he created her. I struggle sometimes when she tells me “hard to swallow” things, and there are many times she has had to. What makes it easier to handle is the firm conviction I have that she will always be on my team. I love her to bits.
2. Men who are significantly older than I am
These include my dad, my big brothers, especially Gideon our first born, my grand-dad who he is named after, who died more than 20 years ago, and several other different older men.
These men have a very funny way of passing a life-lesson on in a very humourous, non-threatening way in which you have to be extremely dim to miss. Yeah sure, I miss the lesson many times, but the one I catch, I have learnt for life. Once in a while, we will be sitting somewhere and I will remind them of something they told me a long time ago and sure enough, it is still true and they have not forgotten it. There is just something magical about hanging out with someone who “eaten more salt” than you have. It is easy to think that your current struggles are irrelevant to them since you are living under different circumstances but after giving it some thought you realise they are more relevant that ever.
3. People who have done something I aspire to do
I once said in my blog that men bond very differently from women. So when I say I like to hang out with these people, it does not mean that we hang out everyday. In fact there are some that we have only been able to hang out a couple of times in a year.
I once spent time with Jona, a young guy who has once driven with his family to SA and back. It took him a month. Just that would make me hang out with him more. I also met a gentleman called Kiereini who is a biker and who has about five bikes in his “stable”. This weekend I bumped into him and he was riding a Yamaha 400cc bike that was looking so new and clean. He told me he has had that bike for 32 years, wow! Generally I find myself gravitating towards these kind of men. And God does grant me many such opportunities.
4. Men who are very rich
These are not necessarily the Chris Kirubis and Uhuru Kenyattas of the world. Though it would be nice to meet them. The kind of rich people I like to meet are those who have some substance left when you separate them from their money. I realised this last weekend when I travelled a long distance with a cousin of mine. He told me that there are some idiots who, if you put their money on one side, and the person on the other, you are left with nothing. The person, without the money is absolutely nothing. My gut feeling is that our parliament has many of these.
The kind of rich people I like to hang around are those who inspire me, not make me jealous. There is a very big difference. The Bible, talking about Christ says … New International Version (©1984)
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, (Philippians 2:6)
There are many people who are rich, but they become unattractive by considering their chummed nature something to be grasped. There is a laughable arrogance that makes some rich people think that they are superior to others. Such people are the scum of the earth. There I said it!
5. My kids and other young people
It is always interesting to be looked up to. I enjoy talking to young people who in a misguided way (shauri yao!) think they should aspire to be like me. It is a joy to talk to someone and have them later share how I inspired them to be a better person, christian, student,… whatever.
I enjoy having my kids in this category because, like their mum, know me more deeply and are able to tell when I am lying, kidding or very serious. I learn a lot about myself from my kids. I am not surprised when they are cheeky, playful, tech-inclined because I know where they get some of it from. They will probably never know how much they inspire me.
Who inspires you? Who do you like hanging around?